The fact that we are here in this material world proves we have material desires. Until we purify all our desires, it is very difficult to go back home, back to Godhead.

In our impure stage, while simultaneously engaging in the quest to be pure, how can we manage our desires?

It’s definitely not possible to evaporate all desires at once. Is suppression the only solution? Do all desires have to be compulsorily negated? Let us explore.

Indulgence: A Headlong Dive

When desires overpower us, it is natural to indulge in fulfilling them. Obviously, not all desires are meant to be indulged in. If a man gets attracted to a woman and tries to indulge with her, he may end up behind bars.

Yayati Maharaj had once gone on a hunting expedition. He heard a cry for help coming from a well. On approaching, he found that a girl had fallen into the well. She wasn’t properly clothed. He gave his angavastra and pulled her out. This girl was none other than Shukracharya’s daughter, Devayani.

Devayani proposed to Maharaj Yayati. He became overwhelmed with the desire to indulge with her. Even after years of indulgence, he wasn’t satisfied. A time came when Shukracharya cursed him to become old. Yayati, still unfulfilled in his indulgence, expressed this to Shukracharya. The sage then benedicted him that he could exchange his old age for someone else’s youth. Yayati became so shameless that he went to his sons and begged them for their youth, just so he could continue indulging with Devayani.

This is a classic example of indulgence – where one doesn’t think about the consequences, but simply wants to fulfill the desire at any cost.

We must try to avoid indulgence at all costs. There is no end to how much one can indulge. The end result of indulgence is only misery.

Krishna says in BG 5.22:

ye hi samsparsha-ja bhoga
duhkha-yonaya eva te
ady-antavanta kaunteya
na teshu ramate budhah
“An intelligent person does not take part in the sources of misery, which are due to contact with the material senses. O son of Kunti, such pleasures have a beginning and an end, and so the wise man does not delight in them.”

Experience: Lawful, Legal Fulfillment

In contrast to indulgence, experiencing material desires means lawful, regulated fulfillment of those desires, with the final aim of becoming detached and transcending them. In the case of indulgence, there is no desire to get away from them.

When Yayati went to his sons begging for their youth, the oldest one, Yadu, denied his father’s request. He reasoned that he preferred to lawfully experience his desires rather than repress them and regret it later. He was also aware that Lord Krishna was to appear in his dynasty. Therefore, Yadu is regarded as dharma-shilah, or one rooted in dharma.

A person having sex desire is advised to lawfully experience it through married life.
Material pleasure, by its very nature, is meant to give suffering. A mature person, after having experienced such desires, becomes detached from further engagement.

An important note in experiencing material desires is that it may take a very, very long time to get detached. Also, if one is not careful, one may begin indulging unrestrictedly in the name of fulfillment.

Is there any other way apart from wanting to experience a desire?

Suppression: Saying No with Determination

In any yoga system, the foremost requirement is control of the mind and senses. Sinful desires have to be suppressed. Sometimes, even for desires we want to fulfill, we can use suppression as a means.

For instance, you have a desire to say something angrily to the person who has troubled you. But, you suppress your emotions and check yourself at the right time.

Another example – you may have a desire to eat the finest, luxurious foodstuffs. But you end up eating simple khichadi to keep your senses controlled. This is suppression.

If you want to experience, then you may go to Govinda’s restaurant. But if someone wishes to indulge, he may not mind going to any restaurant and eating anything.

Suppression is definitely the solution for improper desires. But, lifelong suppression of a particular desire may not be everyone’s cup of tea.

For example,a renunciate trying to suppress sex desire, while repeatedly contemplating it in his mind, may end up indulging in illicit sex. For him, it is better to get married and experience that desire, so that he may ultimately surpass it.

Or else, while suppressing, one must develop a higher taste in Krishna Consciousness. Then, the temptations may no longer affect him or her.

Krishna says in BG 2.59,

viṣayā vinivartante
nirāhārasya dehinaḥ
rasa-varjaṁ raso ‘py asya
paraṁ dṛṣṭvā nivartate
Though the embodied soul may be restricted from sense enjoyment, the taste for sense objects remains. But ceasing such engagements by experiencing a higher taste, he is fixed in consciousness.

Dovetailing: Engaging Desires in Devotion

Many desires can be dovetailed in Krishna consciousness. One may have a desire to visit tourist places, but instead, one may visit holy places of pilgrimage.

One may have the desire to socialize and gossip. Instead, one can make devotee friends and share Krishna-katha with them. Or one may preach Krishna consciousness with full vigor all over the world.

Narottama Dasa Thakura writes in Prema Bhakti Chandrika about this divine way of dovetailing our material desires:
kāma—kṛṣṇa-karmāpanī,
‘krodha’ bhakta-dveṣī jane,
‘lobha’ sādhu-saṅge hari-kathā
‘moha’ iṣṭa-lābha vine,
‘mada’ kṛṣṇa-guṇa-gāne,
niyukta kariba yathā tathā
“I will engage lust by offering it in Krishna’s service. Anger I will direct towards those who are envious of the devotees. I will be greedy to hear the topics of Hari in the association of devotees. I will feel illusioned without achieving my worshipable Lord. I will be maddened while singing the glories of Krishna. In this way I will engage these enemies in their proper places.”

Surpassing: Going Beyond

Both dovetailing and surpassing are ultimate goals for dealing with material desires.

The best example is that of Haridas Thakur. He was beyond all material desires. Even Mayadevi herself came to test him. Not only did he surpass the test, but he also initiated her.

Prahlada Maharaja was not affected by any material desires. Hiranyakashipu tried to distract him in so many ways, but he was undeterred. His strong Krishna Consciousness protected him from all distractions and deviations. He had surpassed all tests of maya.

As Srimad Bhagavatam 11.2.50 states:
na kāma-karma-bījānāṁ
yasya cetasi sambhavaḥ
vāsudevaika-nilayaḥ
sa vai bhāgavatottamaḥ
“One who has taken exclusive shelter of the Supreme Lord, Vāsudeva, becomes free from fruitive activities, which are based on material lust. In fact, one who has taken shelter of the lotus feet of the Lord is freed even from the desire to enjoy material sense gratification. Plans for enjoying sex life, social prestige, and money cannot develop within his mind. Thus, he is considered a bhāgavatottama, a pure devotee of the Lord on the highest platform.”

At the end point of life, we have to reach a stage wherein we have either dovetailed all desires to KC or we have surpassed those desires.

If not, we might end up taking another material body to fulfill that desire.

We can have a check on ourselves – What am I doing with my desires? Which tendency is strong in my heart – To indulge, to experience, to suppress, or to dovetail and surpass?

The right estimate can help us deal with our desires in a healthy manner to ultimately attain the perfection at the end of our life.