We are all on our individual journeys back to Godhead. Some of us may be close to the starting point, some may have reached the mid-point, and a few might be extremely close to attaining the final goal.

Srila Prabhupada often said that everyone has to fly his or her own plane. A devotee in the Chowpatty congregation always says we should not miss the “bus.”

Leaving aside planes and buses, let us imagine that we are undertaking this journey by train.

When you open the IRCTC login portal to book a train ticket, various booking statuses appear.

Let us leave aside Tatkal. That option is only for the kṛpā-siddhas, those who attain perfection by special mercy.

REGRET

When a particular train is overbooked, the status shown is REGRET – you cannot even book a ticket.

Imagine Krishna showing that option to us: REGRET!

It would mean that Krishna is so disappointed with our efforts (or lack of them) that He doesn’t even allow us to attempt the journey. This might happen if we commit severe Vaiṣṇava aparādhas. Unless we beg forgiveness, Krishna may not remove that sign. And in that case, we can’t even click the button—what to speak of booking the ticket.

Of course, Krishna is all-merciful. His mercy never stops flowing. Krishna never truly rejects anyone. But still, it should not happen that we regret at the end of life, realizing we have missed the train!

Before that happens, we must examine our current status and reflect. If needed, we should regret, and rectify. We may regret having missed wonderful opportunities to advance. We may regret wasting our time while being in Krishna consciousness.

In one sense, this regret is good.

Devahūti says to Lord Kapila:

nirviṇṇā nitarāṁ bhūman
asad-indriya-tarṣaṇāt
yena sambhāvyamānena
prapannāndhaṁ tamaḥ prabho
“I am very sick of the disturbance caused by my material senses, for because of this sense disturbance, my Lord, I have fallen into the abyss of ignorance.”
(SB 3.25.7)

She regretted her indulgence.

We must regret and then rectify. But let it never reach a point where, because of our repeated offenses and spiritual negligence, Krishna shows us the sign: REGRET.

Before they met Srila Prabhupada, surely the hippies were being shown the “REGRET” sign by Krishna. But Prabhupada changed their destiny. He made Krishna change the sign to AVL (Available)! Attachment to a pure devotee opens the doors of liberation – This is a well documented statement in the Srimad Bhagavatam. (SB 3.25.20)

WAITING LIST

In Indian Railways, the waiting list depends on cancellations. Only then may your ticket get confirmed.

In Krishna’s waiting list, however, you have to work on yourself. Only then will He confirm your ticket.

Anartha-nivṛtti is essential to board the train to the spiritual world. We cannot bypass it. We cannot surpass it. We must pass through this difficult and long junction. Depending on the nature of our anarthas, our train may halt at this junction for years, decades—or even lifetimes.

This is the most demanding stage in our spiritual journey. But we must patiently execute devotional service with sincerity and determination.

AVAILABLE

This sign is very rare when booking a train back to Godhead!

Krishna may show it just one minute before we leave this world, or whenever He chooses. Actually, the path back to Godhead is open for everyone, but the “Available” sign is not shown to all. It is reserved for those who are almost pure or fully pure in heart.

In the case of Citraketu Mahārāja, the Lord had already shown him this sign. In fact, even more than Citraketu, the Lord was eager to bring him back to the spiritual world. That’s why He arranged for Citraketu to be cursed—so that he could return immediately in his next life.

Krishna is more eager to take us back to Him than we are to go.

He is simply waiting for our full surrender. At any moment, He can change all the signs on the booking portal—because, after all, the entire portal is under His control.
Krishna decides when to open the bookings, when to close them, when to show someone “REGRET,” when to place them on the “WAITING LIST,” and finally, whom to allow to board the train.

We cannot just walk to the counter at the last moment, buy a ticket, and board the train. Perfection without practice is not the method taught by our spiritual predecessors. Even Ajāmila couldn’t do that. Though his sins were cleared, he still had to practice spiritual life for twelve more years.

Direct entry is reserved only for rare souls who receive special mercy. We will also reach the destination only by mercy, but we must put in sincere effort as well.

And we must take shelter of a pure devotee. He is Krishna’s agent who can do the booking from behind and take us BTG!

We should try to deeply ponder:
Am I staying too long at the Anartha Nivrtti Junction?
What do I need to surrender for Krishna to move me off the waiting list?
Am I having connection, or rather, have I pleased a pure devotee so that he or she can plead to Krishna on my behalf?